Park

South Park returned to Comedy Central on Wednesday for a Thanksgiving-themed episode filled with its trademark double entendre, rich dialogue and plot action far more focused on the happenings in the titular town than with Donald Trump and Satan’s expected baby.

As the episode opens, South Park’s mayor is having trouble finding a financier for the annual Turkey Trot and local businesses are at a loss, having fallen on hard economic times. A solution is floated to ask for money from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, which one resident notes is giving money to just about everyone lately — a reference to the dozens of comedians who recently traveled to the wealthy Middle East nation for a stand-up gig and big payday. 

The boys of South Park Elementary are all-in on the race once it’s made clear that there is a $5,000 prize for the winning team. That is, if no disparaging remarks against KSA and its Royal Family are made by the winners, as is made clear in a non-animated advertisement (i.e. real people, etc) for the big Thanksgiving Day event. 

Meanwhile, Department of War head and former Fox News guy Pete Hegseth shows up at the South Park Police Department, repelling down a rope, to release Trump administration asset, or its puppet master, Peter Thiel out of lock-up but is told to get his “little bitch ass” out of South Park by Sgt. Harrison Yates amid a dispute over the release of Thiel, who recently split town with a “6, 7” repeating Eric Cartman in an attempt to thwart the rise of the Antichrist. Naturally, this slight from the local police leads to Hegseth declaring war on South Park. That is, until President Trump calls to intervene and demand that he focus on getting Thiel back to the White House. 

As the Turkey Trot approaches, more and more South Park residents are signing up and Cartman, attempting to ensure a win, turns to “race science” to determine who will finish first and win that Saudi loot (cue a gag that the Asian City Pop-Up team will race smart, but not necessarily fast). This makes Cartman dead on getting Tolkien Black, South Park Elementary’s male student of color, on his team, as he always wins the runs. But as Tolkien tells him, “Just because I’m Black, does not mean I run fast.”

Cartman finds his science-fueled race attempt to win $5,000 thwarted when Tolkien bows out over the sponsorship of the event. “It doesn’t feel right,” he tells Cartman, who accuses his fair-weather friend of encouraging KSA to continue its actions toward critics — doesn’t he want “them to pay America for sports rather than hacking up reporters and paying Pete Davidson to do comedy?” Here, Cartman, via a series of cutting lines, presents both sides of the argument that emerged as the Riyadh Comedy Festival divided the stand-up community last month. 

Back at the race, the attendees are ready to dash for the case, but before the runners are off, Hegseth mistakes the runners gathering for the race for an Antifa uprising; he is egged on to attack by the gunshot that starts the former fun run, which has become a battle for Saudi money among the town’s struggling business owners. The Department of War’s top brass is perhaps a bit more concerned with content creation and YouTube subscribers than thwarting a left-wing uprising. And faster than he can say “like and subscribe, you guys,” Homeland Security Chief Kristi Noem is on the scene to steal his thunder (ideally before her face melts off).

With the race started and the runners being gassed by the Department of War, Cartman is running along and has now convinced Tolkien to join in on the Trot. But he’s slipping behind and out of breath, because, as he’s been saying all along, he may be Black and athletic, but he’s not a runner. In the end, it doesn’t matter because Cartman manages to get Tolkien first across the finish line, all thanks to a little “race science.” This is all after Tolkien calls out Cartman’s racism.

As the episode concludes, Hegseth has been rounded up by an angry Sgt. Yates and is tossed in the local lock-up, where his cellmate is none other than Peter Thiel. 

Season 28 of South Park is set to conclude in two weeks, on Dec. 10.