Regret

Veteran Bollywood music composer Ismail Darbar is tuning out of public favour and into a social media controversy after comments he made regarding his daughter-in-law, actor Gauahar Khan, and her professional life. In a recent interview, Darbar sparked a fiery debate by suggesting that women should not continue their careers after marriage and motherhood, drawing sharp criticism from netizens who quickly labelled his views as “regressive.”

The Spark: A Mother’s Sacrifice vs. A Woman’s Work

The controversy stems from an interview Darbar gave to journalist Vickey Lalwani, where he initially showered praise on Gauahar Khan for being a devoted wife to his son, Zaid Darbar, and a loving mother. However, the conversation took a divisive turn when Darbar began to articulate his personal, traditional stance on a woman’s professional life post-marriage.

The composer, known for his work in films like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, openly admitted to coming from a “backward family” where conservative values still hold sway. “We used to turn away whenever a sensuous scene came in a movie. That happens in our house even today,” Darbar stated, linking this conservative environment to his views on Gauahar’s career. He stressed that now that Gauahar is part of their family, they feel a responsibility for her “reputation.”

Crucially, Darbar clarified that while he holds this opinion, he would not personally forbid the actor from working. “I can’t tell her not to work; that right only belongs to Zaid,” a statement that further fuelled the ensuing backlash. He also explained that he takes measures to avoid conflict within the family, saying, “I avoid watching anything that might bother me because I know I won’t be able to tolerate it, and if I can’t tolerate it, I will confront them.”

To support his viewpoint, Ismail Darbar cited his own wife, Ayesha Darbar, who chose to step away from her career after becoming a mother. He lauded his wife’s decision, calling it the “greatest sacrifice for their family”—a comparison that many interpreted as a subtle demand or expectation placed upon his daughter-in-law.

The Reddit Uproar: ‘Who Gave Zaid the Right?’

It didn’t take long for snippets of the interview to go viral, particularly on platforms like Reddit, where users overwhelmingly condemned the composer’s patriarchal outlook. The core of the criticism focused on the assertion that a husband—or any family member—should have the authority to permit or restrict an adult woman’s career choices.

One angry user on Reddit captured this sentiment directly, writing, “Who gave Zaid the right to permit or restrict her from working? She’s an adult, not a minor.” Another commenter highlighted the financial reality of the situation, pointing out the irony of the statement given the relative professional standing of the family members: “Who is going to earn then? Gauahar is the most famous and accomplished person in this family.”

Several netizens pointed out the significant achievements of the actor and reality show winner, whose professional accomplishments widely surpass those of her husband, Zaid Darbar, who is primarily known as a choreographer and influencer. A scathing comment read, “It’s the same old mentality, if she’s a woman, she should stay home. Maybe tell your son to work harder instead of asking your daughter-in-law to quit.”

The controversy also extended to other members of the family, with one user offering a darkly humorous comment about Ismail Darbar’s other son, Awez Darbar, and his fiancée, Nagma Mirajkar, suggesting she still had “time to run” before getting entangled in similar expectations.

Love Story Meets Traditional Values

Gauahar Khan and Zaid Darbar’s relationship has always been a public, modern love story. The two met during the 2020 COVID-19 lockdown, reportedly at a grocery store. Zaid, captivated by her, soon messaged Gauahar on social media, calling her “the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.” Their whirlwind romance quickly blossomed, culminating in their marriage in December 2020.

This modern, independent beginning makes Ismail Darbar’s traditionalist comments all the more jarring for the public. The debate has transformed from a family discussion into a larger social commentary on the enduring struggle between traditional Indian family values and the increasing financial and professional independence of modern women, particularly those in the public eye.

As of now, neither Gauahar Khan nor Zaid Darbar has publicly addressed Ismail Darbar’s statements. The silence leaves many wondering how the actor, who has built a successful career based on her own talent and drive, will navigate the conflicting expectations now laid bare by her father-in-law. For many, the comments serve as a harsh reminder that even in seemingly progressive, high-profile families, the question of a woman’s work after marriage remains a hot-button, and often “regressive,” topic.