Christian

“There’s really only two things you can count on in this world: songs and dogs. Those are the two things that never will let you down.”

This is the central belief of comedian and lifelong music fan Christian Finnegan. However, he also knows the “songs” half of this equation is complicated by one of life’s nigh-guarantees: The older you get, the harder it is to keep up with new music. “Obviously there are tactile reasons why someone my age—uh, 52—might not be absorbing a lot of music,” admits Finnegan, “They have children, jobs, lives—it just isn’t part of their weekly practice to seek things out. But sometimes they also just feel that there’s just so much out there, where do you even start?”

To combat that, Finnegan started a bi-weekly-ish Substack titled New Music For Olds. In each of the 86 newsletters he’s put out since 2022, Finnegan finds and recommends at least three artists who are probably/hopefully new to casual music fans. However, what separates his picks from, say, an established site’s new release list is that Finnegan then puts what he likes about each artist into terms that his (and—full disclosure—my own) fellow Generation Xers can understand. 

For example, he sells recent pick “Andromeda” by Preoccupations with “that romantic-but-jittery sound that would fit snugly into an early episode of 120 Minutes, sandwiched between the Church and Peter Murphy.” Each write-up also gets a Voltage ranking (think volume; the Precoccupations gets a 6), a Pairing Suggestion (think activity; here it’s “Eyes closed, swaying in a vaguely rhythmic fashion”), and a final meme-like visual punchline (this one ending with MTV’s Dave Kendall in jean shorts). All together, the recommendations are succinct, clear, and funny, like when you’d talk music with friends back in college.

“That’s the spirit I’ve tried to bring to the newsletter. This isn’t me going through a bio of every artist, and it’s not me trying to throw in as many rock writer cliches— you know, ‘shimmering guitars’ and all that stuff that drives me batshit,” chuckles Finnegan. His goal is to talk about music the way he and his friends would’ve when driving around in high school, looking for the feelings it creates and what sticks out. “And if that means, ‘oh, I like this song because it reminds me of my third grade gym teacher,’ then that’s fine,” he continues. “That’s the way people experience music in their actual lives. Sometimes it’s, ‘I really love the way the vocals are stacked,’ or ‘I really love that guitar tone.’ But sometimes it’s like, ‘Oh my God, this sounds like something you’d hear at an amusement park when you were a kid.’”

But how does he actually discover the music he shares? Turns out there wasn’t much for Finnegan to demystify: “It’s not really any more laborious than just going through the new release section and just clicking on stuff.” That’s right. While Finnegan does also follow certain music writers he likes on social media, the majority of what he recommends comes from sampling new releases on Apple Music. “We live now in an endless food court of music. There’s no barrier for entry for just clicking on an album because, ‘This cover looks interesting,’ or ‘So and so told me they enjoyed this.’ I’m just gonna click on it and if I don’t like it in 90 seconds, I move on with my life.” And to all the busy people asking when he does this, Finnegan goes back to the second thing you can always count on: “Having a dog helps. Like, dog walks are great for that.”

His one note: Go in without the pressure of hearing what is cool or important. He explains, “I tell friends of mine who ask about this that if you’re trying to be aware of what’s cool, then you’re always going to be frustrated. Because the stuff that’s cool is not for you and you liking it will make it less cool.” Instead, Finnegan’s mantra is: “If I stick to what feels good between my ears, that’s a much better metric than, ‘What am I supposed to be listening to right now?’”

While this sampling process wasn’t possible back in the days of hitting Tower Records on a Tuesday, Finnegan also feels streaming services are part of the problem in finding new music. “The algorithms trap you,” he says. “They know what you want. They feed you. It’s kind of like you have crappy frozen turkey burgers in your freezer. They’re there, you know what they are, so when you get hungry, you simply say, ‘Screw it. I’m just going to eat another turkey burger.’”

Instead, Finnegan’s eating well these days, consistently finding new artists to love. Some of his recent faves—whom he admits, “If you’re under 30, you’re probably well aware of them”—are Magdalena Bay (“They’re retro, contemporary, and futuristic at the same time”), Die Spitz (“They have this song called “Throw Yourself to the Sword,” which I’ve probably listened to about 40,000 times this week.”), and the Beths (“Not just their songs, which I love, but I love how much they all seem to like each other.”).

But on top of the music, writing New Music For Olds brings Finnegan joy. It allows him to write the niche music jokes he never gets to make in his stand-up set, even though he does concede to having the goal of “I always wanted to be like the Nada Surf of comedy, those people who feel like they have exactly the career they’re trying to have.” Listening to new music also lets him feel “Younger, alive, engaged,” as his brain makes new connections, forms new paths. It’s a feeling that he hopes to share with his readers, saying, “I promise that your life—for that next week or two when you find a song or an album that you really love—will have that new car smell that is increasingly rare as you get older.”